Red Letter Edition: Guarding Hearts and Marriages (Insights from Matthew 5:27-32)

In a complex world, the Bible often surprises us with its simplicity. It speaks to us in a way that is both profound and accessible. However, the challenge lies not in comprehending its message but in applying it to our lives through obedience. Today, I will deal with a sensitive topic that often remains in the shadows: adultery, lust, and divorce. These subjects can make us uncomfortable, but as a Bible teacher, I have a responsibility to share the whole counsel of God to protect and heal wounded hearts and marriages.

Understanding Jesus' Corrective Teaching: Heart vs. Action

Matthew 5:27-32 is a passage that addresses the misguided teachings of the religious leaders of Jesus's time, the Scribes and Pharisees. They focused solely on the physical act of adultery, failing to address the deeper issue—the condition of the heart. Jesus's message goes beyond mere action; it delves into the heart's condition and how it influences our words and deeds.

Jesus makes it clear that both the physical act of adultery and lusting in one's heart are sinful. It's vital to recognize that lustful thoughts are the seeds from which destructive actions can grow.

Before someone commits adultery with their body, they first commit it in their mind. They've already undressed the object of their desire in their thoughts, and in their mind, they've already gone through the motions. Jesus teaches us that good fruit emanates from a good heart, while bad fruit springs from a corrupted heart. What's within us inevitably finds its way out, shaping our words and actions.

Let's clarify a crucial point: Jesus doesn't imply that committing adultery in the heart and adultery in action yield identical outcomes, but they do indeed carry consequences. This underscores the significance of capturing and controlling our thoughts before they manifest as actions, a crucial aspect of maintaining our spiritual well-being.

A Radical Solution

To combat the problem of lust in our hearts that could lead to adultery or divorce, Jesus presents a radical solution in Matthew 5:29-30:

If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Now, let's be clear: Jesus is speaking figuratively here. He isn't advocating self-mutilation. Instead, he underscores the importance of taking drastic measures to safeguard our relationships and purity.

Cutting Off Sources of Temptation

In today's world, men and women often work side by side in offices, factories, and shops. These environments are rife with sexual overtones and frequently serve as breeding grounds for adulterous relationships.

In this context, Jesus encourages us to cut off sources of temptation before our thoughts lead us down a treacherous path. Whether it's the content we consume on TV, in magazines, on the internet, or through social media, we must be vigilant.

Consider the alarming statistic from the website Covenant Eyes: "By 2015, mobile adult content and services are expected to reach $2.8 billion per year, mobile adult subscriptions will reach nearly $1 billion, and mobile adult video consumption on tablets will triple." The point is that, even if you don't have a computer or smartphone, many of us have a television that can be filled with explicit content.

So, what's the message? If you genuinely value your relationship with your spouse, you must be willing to take whatever steps necessary to cut off the things that fuel your lust for someone other than your spouse. Your spouse should be the pinnacle of beauty in your life. Prolonged gazing at others or indulging in pornography creates unrealistic scenarios in your mind, making it difficult for your spouse to measure up.

Now, let's pause for a moment to address the ladies. This message isn't exclusively for men. Women can also fall into the trap of lust, often fueled by the content they consume, such as romance novels or magazines that depict idealized sexual experiences. These fantasies can lead to disappointment in one's spouse and even temptations to look elsewhere.

What About Divorce?

We've discussed how unchecked lust can lead to adultery and sometimes divorce. But what role does divorce play in all of this? Jesus clarifies that adultery is a legitimate cause for divorce. However, this doesn't mean divorce is the only option or the preferred outcome.

When couples face the painful reality of adultery, the first goal should be reconciliation. While it's undeniably challenging and sometimes unattainable, it's worth striving for. God has a history of restoring and renewing relationships shattered by adultery.

As a pastor, when couples come to me for counseling due to adultery, my primary aim is to see them reconcile. It doesn't always happen, but it's a noble pursuit. Reconciliation isn't just a goal; it's a path toward healing and restoration.

Steps to Overcoming Lust

If you find yourself struggling with lust, it's essential to take practical steps to overcome it. Here are some recommendations from the book Temptations Men Face by Tom Eisman:

1. Refuse to Rationalize: Don't try to explain away or minimize the issue. Acknowledge it as a problem that needs addressing.

2. Get It Out in the Open: Seek guidance from a trusted pastor or Christian counselor. Avoid discussing the issue with friends who might share the same struggle.

3. Repentance: Embrace repentance to find forgiveness and redirect your actions toward what is right.

4. Pray for Your Marriage: If you're married, pray for the strength to love your spouse well and protect your relationship.

5. Be Accountable: Find someone you trust to hold you accountable for your actions and “thought life.” Avoid confiding in co-workers who share the same struggle; they may inadvertently reinforce negative behaviors.

In Matthew 5:27-32, Jesus provides invaluable insights into the importance of safeguarding our hearts and marriages against the devastating consequences of lust. Recognizing the root cause of adultery and taking proactive measures to overcome it can strengthen our relationships and honor the sanctity of marriage.

While the Bible's teachings may be straightforward, their application can be life-changing when we obey them. Let's remember that we are all capable of sin, but with God's grace and commitment to guarding our hearts, we can build and maintain thriving, faithful marriages.

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